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To the one I have always loved, but will never have.

User : Abigail
Submitted on : Jun 3, 2015

To the one I have always loved, but will never have.

Tonight as I look at old photos and see the true happiness in my smile. I find myself reflecting and trying to find a way to bring this to a close.

It took a long time for me to realise how badly I had fallen in love with you.

So long it has become too late.

I cried for weeks no knowing why, then I realised I was missing you. Five years on and I continue to think of you, it's like being ripped apart from the inside. I always wonder what if or why?

There was times when I saw a glimmer that you liked me too, but I knew we could never be.

That night when we returned to yours and I pretended to fall to sleep. The countless times we cosied on the sofa, but only that, In the bar when you grabed me into a hug and nibbled on my ear. The peck of courage in the club.

There was always occasions when others saw how close we had become.

We both embarrassingly tried to move the subject on or pretended you was my brother. What you never knew was they came to me later, judge and jury of love. It broke my heart denying.

You see I know I will never be the person you want to spend your life with.

I enjoy sports but will never be that running partner or 20k cycling companion. I will always carry weight and have to over groom. I enjoy conversation but cannot hold my own in a political debate. I will never be some one to have savings.

So you see i can never have you, because you will never truly except me. I made a decision a long time ago that you are too special not to be in my life, but to keep you, we have to be friends.

I will still come and see you and play friends with you and your partner. But in years to come should you find yourself old and alone. Come find me in our nursing home and I will happily spend the last few moments of life with you.

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